There once was a girl who gave WAY too many fucks. Fucks about everything and everyone. Fucks about situations a world away. Fucks about the amount of fucks given, and fucks about those withheld.
Over time, the girl grew lopsided. Her limbs heavy with all the fucks she insisted on carrying around. Her mind and her heart were calcified with too many fucks.
At 45, she realized that not giving a fuck about things is a skill…a conscious decision to suffer less.
The world is worth caring about. You are worth caring about & so am I.
But. Fucks are heavy and awkward to haul around. And not all need attention all the time. And some fucks are just too back-breaking.
So, if you are tired of caring when others do not…the answer isn’t a reflexive, unstrategic IDGAF to whatever pushes you callous. The answer is to be very selective about the who, what, when, how & why of your fucks.
Fucks are emotional investments. Fucks are entanglements. Entanglements are unavoidable if you love humanity.
Ain’t nobody making you carry more than your fair share.
When asking yourself whether or not fucks should be given, ask yourself…would it matter to me if I was dying? If there is hesitation, let the new era of No Fucks flow.
The girl and I are asking this question every day. What is worth suffering for? Which fucks are nothing but weight?
If this resonates with you, tell me how you navigate the land of too many or not enough fucks. And please know that when I decide to not give one, it ain’t about you. It is about giving myself permission to not be responsible for everything and everyone.
Meet Kristen “Some Selected Fucks” Chapman Gibbons.
For a decade, I worked as a counselor for men, women, boys and girls in the criminal justice system. I used to caution my folks to watch out for the “F.I. response” to problems.
Most gave too little a fuck about anything. Most had no cause, because not enough of anyone ever gave any about them.
You can’t give what you don’t have or recognize.
I reacted the opposite (and equally unhealthy way), by becoming a fucks magnet. By choice and by design.
For a person who is prone to perfectionism, shedding the amount and types of fucks given is tantamount to ending recidivism. Liberation through clumsy letting go.
I will take my freedom. No matter how graceless it looks. Because if I don’t get more free, then why am I still fighting?
Say it with me:
Be more like second term President Obama. Noticably less fucks.